The Music of Susan Levine

SUSAN LEVINE
Atlas

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SUSAN LEVINE
Scatter Me

Listen at cdBaby

~ATLAS~
music and lyrics by susan levine

1000 OPEN DOORS

ain’t life like a hole in your pocket
you don’t know where everything goes
keep throwing in nickels and quarters
and minutes and hours
when all you can feel is the cold through the holes

mama wrap your arms around your baby
daddy dance gently around the floor
throw wide the windows
let the sun lead you
through a thousand open doors

ain’t life like a ring ‘round your finger
beginnings and endings and in betweens
rolled into one
i’m sorry, i love you, welcome, i’m leaving,
forgiveness
forgiveness, yeah

mama wrap your arms around your baby
daddy dance gently around the floor
throw wide the windows
let the sun lead you
through a thousand open doors

ain’t life like one endless tomorrow
you’re kicking back today like a stone
just keeping one nose ahead of sorrow
just keeping your head above alone

mama wrap your arms around your baby
daddy dance gently around the floor
throw wide the windows
let the sun lead you
through a thousand open doors
through a thousand open doors

MICHAEL

what did you do with all my kindness
what did I do with all your love
I guess we got used to constant blindness
and missing the sky for the clouds above

michael you row your boat hallelujah
michael you row your boat to sea
michael you row your boat hallelujah
but what about me

people they pass me on the sidewalk
their heads are all bowed against the cold
but families are laughing and lovers kissing
they’ve all got somewhere else to go

michael you row your boat hallelujah
michael you row your boat to sea
michael you row your boat hallelujah
but what about me

and your oars are made of driftwood
and your hull is made of cork
and your sails are of the finest rags
and you point your compass north and go forth

and the ocean looks so hungry
you float straight into its mouth
and I never did like winter
so I point my wheels due south

michael you row your boat hallelujah
michael you row your boat to sea
michael you row your boat hallelujah
but what about me
what about me
what about me

LEAVING

I am leaving in my mind
and I am grieving one last time
‘cuz I am hearing
the sweetest song I’ve ever known

and it is springtime but it’s still cold
and I see one flat dime stuck in the road
and I’m reminded
of how it used to pay for one call home

and is it mountains that I’m missing
or the comfort of a bed
was it summer lawns a hissing
or just the power lines over head

I am leaving
I am leaving

and there’s a train there,
I leave my car and it’s a cheap fare
I take my dog and there is clean air
we throw our noses to the breeze

and then two stops down
in the shadow of an old mill town
there is a child in a blue wedding gown
singing, “hey lai de dai dai”
as the train struggles by

and I am not afraid of running
no I am not afraid of danger
I wrap my head around the sunshine
and my arms around a stranger

‘cuz we are leaving
we are leaving

so there is bye bye baby
and there’s hello
and it’s like breathing
my need to go
so raise the ceiling
and watch me fly into the deep blue

‘cuz I am leaving one last time
but I’m believing I’ll see a sign
says this way healing
ye sick and ragged of the soul

yeah I am leaving in my mind
but I’ve a feeling I’ll be just fine
‘cuz I am hearing
the sweetest song I’ve ever known.

WINGS

another rock in the windshield
I drive on past
and it’s a shame, it’s a pity
all these holes in the glass

it was a brand new automobile
the plastic was shiny like steel
so pretty it didn’t seem real
didn’t seem real

and oh I never take care of my things
my clothes are all dirty, my toys are all broken
and baby, there go your wings

another nail in the tire
it still goes ‘round
I drive with my eyes closed
not the best way to get around

the rain makes the road feel like sea
the ocean between you and me
it’s a good thing this turnpike is free
it’s free

and oh I never take care of my things
my clothes are all dirty, my toys are all broken
and baby, there go your wings
I let you stand by the side of the road in the sun
with holes in your knees and
your hands in your pockets
and shoelaces all undone
and I apologize
my well-intentioned lies
never protect you from pain...
but off I go again

another crack in the fender
it happened so fast
I never saw it coming
but I just gotta laugh

the light goes from
crimson to green
I go from aching to dream
it’s never as wrecked as it seems
as it seems

and oh I never take
care of my things
my clothes are all dirty,
my toys are all broken
and baby, there go your wings
there go your wings

LETTER HOME

he said he’d take me to carolina
where the air is warm and the trees are green
he said “baby I’ll treat you kinder
than anyone you’ve ever seen”
and I had just turned 16

so he got a beat up eldorado
and we rolled south down 95
he drove barefoot with a bottle
of jack daniels between his thighs
he had the bluest eyes

but mama there’s a catch in my throat
and something’s tugging at my sleeve

when you told me to wear love like an overcoat
I covered myself in belief
but you never told me about grief

6 months later down in richmond
6 months pregnant, 6 months gone
he wrapped himself in his addiction
I wrapped a bandage around my arm
I wore forgiveness like a charm

then one night like a locomotive
he come steaming into the bed
stinking of whiskey and frustration
and the demons running around his head
when it was over he said he wished he was dead

but mama there’s a catch in my throat
and something’s tugging at my sleeve
when you told me to wear love like an overcoat
I shrouded myself in belief
but you never told me about grief
you never told me I could leave

so I never made it to carolina
but the air is warm here the trees are green
and mama the angels they treat me kinder
than anyone I’ve ever seen
tomorrow I would have been 18

so I look down on that great green valley
I reach my hand to the big blue earth
I say a prayer for the weak and hungry
and for you for what it’s worth

mama there’s a catch in my throat
and a baby tugging at my sleeve
and I still wear love like an overcoat
‘cuz mama I got to believe
‘cuz now I know about grieving
and now I know about leaving
he said he’d take me to Carolina

KILLING THE BLUES

leaves are falling just like embers
in colors red and gold they set us on fire
burning just like moonbeams
in our eyes

somebody said they saw me
swinging the world by the tail
bouncing over a white cloud
killing the blues

now I am guilty of something
I hope you never do
‘cause there is nothing
Any sadder than losing yourself
in love

somebody said they saw me
swinging the world by the tail
bouncing over a white cloud
killing the blues

so you ask me
just to leave you
to set out on my own and get what I needed
you want me to find what I’ve already had

somebody said they saw me
swinging the world by the tail
bouncing over a white cloud
killing the blues
somebody said they saw me
swinging the world by the tail
bouncing over a white cloud
killing the blues

20 MILLION REASONS

there’s that doorway in my mind again
east village rising with the sun
you and me who were we way back then
you so sad and me so young

and I don’t know, but I can guess
there are 20 million reasons to say yes
and I hope hard, and I hope long
there are 20 million reasons to hold on
hold on

there’s that mountain in my mind again
sacred blood spilling out across the sky
and we’d never seen a land so red
never known a time so wide

and you kissed me hard and kissed me long
and for the first time baby I belonged
to something bigger better stronger greater, oh

but there’s that panic in my mind again
boston falling like a shroud
and I shake and you cry and we stand
and all our friends and family gather round

and we drink the wine and break the glass
and tomorrow grabs a shattered past
and it is bigger better stronger greater, oh

there are times that I live inside my head
there are times that I fear my heart is dead
and you’ve always been the artist more than I
a fragile soul in a hurricane’s eye

and I’m sorry baby the world is hard
but I will try to love you harder
bigger better stronger greater oh...

there you go running round my
mind again, I am dizzy
I am broken I am spent

you are hands you are love
and you are blessed
I am I , you are you and
we are yes

and I don’t know, but I can guess
there are 20 million reasons to say yes
and I hope hard, and I hope long
there are 20 million reasons to hold on
hold on.

IN LOVE WITH LOVE

she’s been waiting all day for a little slip of summer
watching all the snow fall she takes a sip of lemonade
it undoes her
she’s in love with love but love drags her under

he’s been waiting all day down by the river
watching all the ice thaw he takes a sip of coffee
he’ll forgive her
he’s in love with love but love makes him shiver

all the lonely people they’ve been waiting for a slice of sun
watching all the kids play they take a sip of happy
and it helps them some
they’re in love with love but love it may never come
never come

I’ve been waiting all day for the clouds to thin
closing all my blinds I take a sip of wine and I settle in
I’m in love with love will love make me whole again
I’m in love with love, oh love
make me whole again

FALLOUT

if I loved you even when you were mean to me
if I loved you even when you tried to swallow the sea
would it mean that I swallowed my pride
would it mean that there’s nothing inside
but some bones and some flesh and some water and yes
I’m alone

if you loved me even when I was angry and weak
if you loved me even though I was never that deep
would it mean that you settled for less
would it mean that you hedged your last bet
like a gambler so buried in debt
that he cannot go home

and the long grey winter
it settles right in
when it’s all that you know
sunlight feels like a sin
it’s the middle of summer
and it’s starting to snow
in the middle of fallout
tell me where do you go

if I left you even though you were sorry and sad
if I left you even though things are never all bad
would it mean I was leaving myself
little pieces of me on some shelf
abandoned like toys at christmas
when everyone goes home

if you left me even though all your stuff is all mine
if you left me even though you had spent your last dime
would it mean you were leaving for good
like you always knew somehow you would
chasing your vision of should
with a bottle of beer

and the long grey winter
it settles right in
when it’s all that you know
sunlight feels like a sin
it’s the middle of summer
and it’s starting to snow
in the middle of fallout
tell me where do you go

if I loved you would it make the whole world go away
if you loved me would I come up with
something inspired to say
would it mean that the oceans are wide
and the sky is what holds us inside
like skin like a body, like memory as solid as dust
tell me who do you trust?

FEBRUARY RAIN

if I knew where love would get me
I’d have turned that car around
I saw each sign & exit
but I could not make a sound
then the road became a river
and this boat she ran aground

the running kept me holy
but the winter wind was wild
in a city paved with lonely
I sought comfort for a while
then your blue eyes and soft blankets
took me in just like a child

I wanna love you love you love you
like I’ve never known pain
but this february rain keeps coming down
if I could hold it all above you like an Atlas of sorts
would you say to me “of course I’ll stick around”
‘cuz you’re the best thing I have found

my poetry deserts me
in my time of greatest need
no twisted rhyme could testify to
what’s been tangled up in me
but when I fear I’ll float into the sun
baby you’re my gravity

I wanna love you love you love you
like I’ve never known pain
but this february rain keeps coming down
if I could hold it all above you like an Atlas of sorts
would you say to me “of course I’ll stick around”
‘cuz you’re the best thing I have found

It’s no great consolation to have crossed the world alone
Some days a car’s a car and a boat is just a boat
There’s no better destination
than the sum of all our fears
So come on baby let me sing it sweetly in your ear

I wanna love you love you love you
like I’ve never known pain
but this february rain keeps coming down
if I could hold it all above you like an Atlas of sorts
would you say to me “of course I’ll stick around”
‘cuz you’re the best thing I have found
the best thing I have found

HOME

like a road
like a car
like a slow train going far
like a cloud
like a bird
I am home

with my eyes
toward the sun
and the moon
when it’s all done
with a soft hand
on my back
I am home

and I always want to run away
I never know if I will stay
in one place for a while
the constant is a bleeding heart
the promise of a brand new start
the hope against the hopeless part
that folks won’t see
that I am broken

and the rain is coming down
with a slow and sacred sound
with my bare feet on the ground
I am home

and you smile and hold me tight
you say, “You’re here.”
I say, “Not quite.”
I say, “It’s cold.”
you say, “there’s light.
and you are home.”

and I always want to run away
I never know if I will stay
in one place for a while
the constant is a bleeding heart
the promise of a brand new start
the hope against the hopeless part
that folks won’t see
that I am broken

there’s a road
there’s a car
there’s a slow train going far
there’s a cloud
there’s a bird
and I am home

Hard Times (Come Again No More)

let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears
for we all sup sorrow with the poor.
there's a song that will linger forever in our ears,
oh, hard times, come again no more.

while we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay,
there are frail forms fainting at the door.
though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say,
oh, hard times, come again no more.

there’s a song, a sigh of the weary
hard times, hard times, come again no more
many days you have lingered around my cabin door
oh, hard times, come again no more

'tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave
'tis a wail that is heard upon the shore
'tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave
oh, hard times come again no more

there’s a song, a sigh of the weary
hard times, hard times, come again no more
many days you have lingered around my cabin door
oh, hard times, come again no more

Scatter Me Lyrics:

Heartland
What Moves You
Something Old (Wedding Dress Song)
Holiness
Maryanne
Almost September
Scatter Me
Spring (The Cheetos Song)
Snapshots (Grandma's Song)
Time Magazine
Walking Backward

Heartland
Woke up this morning with my tongue stuck to the roof of my head
Another Motel 6 another cockroach sleeping in my bed
Thank G-d for showers and bad coffee and the tv news
All the comforts of home but in a place I can afford to lose

I'm going to the East coast where the sky is falling
Leaving the West coast sinking violently into the sea
And part of me believes there's nothing in between
Where is the Heartland? Where is the Heartland?
Why is the Heartland calling?

I never owned a thing I couldn't rent
I never had the nerve to try
Now I pass families eating ice cream cones in trailer parks and
I want to taste it, yeah

And there are babies in Nebraska
They disappear behind the corn
I say hey don't you miss the ocean growing up round here
They say you only know from where you're born

But it's a place like any other
A 4 lane stretch of contradictions, dotted white lines
And then I never quite remember
How familiar leaves me lonely
And coming home distorts the time

The East comes sneaking past Chicago
The road grows dense the sky grows small
And there's no more innocence in a picket fence or a telescope lens and
Love is spray paint on a wall

And I look at the East coast so resigned that the sky is falling
Look back at the West coast so surprised it's losing to the sea
And I'm left standing on the banks of some forgotten river
A no man's land of kick the can and watch it bleed

But it's a place like any other
A 4 lane stretch of contradictions, dotted white lines
And then I never quite remember
How familiar leaves me lonely
And coming home distorts the time

The rocky road of Massachusetts
Well it's been paved and I touch down
And I think it'll be a smooth transition back to blind ambition
I don't look back I just hang on.

What Moves You

She stands outside her muddy house
Like something out of a Wyeth painting
Cornstalk in her mouth and she says, "Oh
Where did the day go?"
She wonders how did I end up here
Daughter of a banker, wife of an engineer and she says, "Oh
Where did my life go?"
"And I may never know what moves you," I say and she says
"Oh no, you already do
almost all of the things that I'd ever want another person to."

She left a husband in Pennsylvania
And I left a boyfriend back in Barstow and we both say, "Oh,
Where did the love go."
We dreamt of rocking chairs and picket fences
But all we got were marble stares and heightened defenses and oh
What were we searching for?
And I don't go looking for the company of women
But there she was standing in my dreams
Gentle as the Madonna
Crazy as a storm through the summer trees

Cross the painted desert, Arizona
She says she's never lived in southern California
And all the mountains, they're just like shadows in my eyes
Just like time.

She stands outside a roadside bar
Like something out of a western movie
Staring at the stars and she says, "Oh,
The night's so beautiful."
And all that I can do is nod, but I can't help thinking
There must be a god somewhere
What am I searching for?
"And would you tell me what moves you," she says.
And I say "Oh no, I wish I knew."
But she looks at me and smiles,
She's my mirror and my guide and she says,
"Walk with me a while."
So I do.

Something Old (Wedding Dress Song)

For one second today I was Alice. The looking glass came to grab me
And I cursed at my own curiosity, but I went like a moth to a flame.
In sepia tones in a sepia dress I look like my mother
And I laid down to rest. To rest

And I feel like I'm home, but I feel like I'm nowhere
With my feet made of stone tell me how will I get there
And I feel just like Dorothy holding tight on to Toto
And I click my heels and I close my eyes
And I pray to G-d I'll someday know I was there

For one second today I loved you, so much that I shivered like a streetlamp
And I cleaned the house and I shaved my legs and I thought that I'd cook you a steak
And I checked my hair and I checked the time and I took in your heart and I thought it was mine
Yeah I thought it was mine. You didn't ask for it back

And I feel like I'm home, but I feel like I'm nowhere
With my feet made of stone tell me how will I get there
And I feel just like Dorothy holding tight on to Toto
And I click my heels and I open my eyes and I'm looking right at the Scarecrow
And I tell him he's smart but he shakes his stuffed head
And I lie on his body and it feels like a bed, just like my bed

For one second today I was grown up, patterns of patterns and places for things
Then the dog ate the house, the cat chewed a mouse, and the dish ran away with the ironing
And my mother's white dress is now yellow at best
But it still breaks my heart. Something old. Something old. Something old.

And I feel like I'm home, but I feel like I'm stalling
And I feel all this gravity, and I'm falling, falling, falling
And the speed of light meets the speed of sound
And I crash in your arms and you turn me around
And we try to take off in that big balloon
But now I am the wizard and I promise me soon
So I close my eyes, but I can't keep the shoes
And the scarecrow is crying and I'm losing my cool.

So then there's the end of that movie. She finds what she's lost in her yard
But no one believed she'd been anywhere. The tornado had hit them too hard.
But she'd seen them there, though she'd hit her head
And then the black and white feels somehow right as they come 'round her bed
Yeah they come round her bed, Auntie Em and everybody. Uncle Henry and Zeke.

For one second today we were happy
So much that we laughed 'til we cried
And one second turned into forever, forever, forever?

Holiness
Come for me when the moon is full
The night is cold and the air is still
And I'll believe
You are saving me
'cuz I drive fast and I drive far
But I can sleep like a baby dreamless
In the back of someone else's car
No matter where we are

So angel please pick me up softly
Angel please pick me up slow
'cuz angel I'm tired and my life has been hard
But I'm ready for a little shot
Of holiness

Come for me when I'm in my prime
My hair is long and I believe I've got nothing but time
And the world is mine
'cuz then I know I'll still love the sun
The reds and golds like a million hearts coming all undone
When the day is gone
So angel please pick me up slowly
Angel please pick me up soft
'cuz angel I'm tired and my life is so hard
But I'm ready for a little shot
Of holiness
And I have always been the restless kind
These holes in my pocket seem to swallow every dime
But lord I know if my fortune ever comes
I will throw it in the air
Share it with everyone

I've got a friend he'll come back as a bird
He'll learn to fly
While me I crawl back as something a little more absurd
You mark my word
He'll come for me when the moon is high
Song in his beak and love pouring out of his beady little eye
Oh my oh my

So angel please put me down softly
Angel please put me down slow
'cuz angel I'm tired and this life is so hard
But I'm ready now, yeah I'm ready now, yeah I'm ready now
To let go.

Maryanne

Maryanne with her head in the sand and her feet turned toward the sky
Maryanne she did not see the freight train coming 'til she sucked that bottle dry
And she did not look up, but she did not feel stuck
She was floating
She said she liked her life she'd be a dutiful wife
She was trying so hard

Maryanne she gave her young left hand to a man from down the road
Billy Andrews was a hard drinking man whose youth had left him old
And with the back of his hand he pushed her down in the sand
She was drowning
She said she did not mind 'cause he could be so kind
She was trying so hard
What do you do when your life is passing you by.
You don't recognize your hand
You don't even understand your own face in the mirror
And you're forever damned because you know the hand that feeds you
Is sucking you dry
And there's a voice in your head just like the man in your bed and they're shouting
Screaming
When all you want to do, all you want to do is swim
Maryanne she had a baby named Sam who she loved more than life
Little Sammy he completed the family but he couldn't hold up to light
And though it seemed absurd before he spoke a word
He was dying
And Mary held him close while Billy dug his toes into the ground

Maryanne you know she swam and she swam into the belly of the whale
Maryanne she said she felt just like Jonah 'til she caught it in the tail
And then she opened wide and took it all inside
She was floating
She did not question why she could not see the sky anymore

What do you do when your life is passing you by
You don't recognize your hand
You don't even understand your own face in the mirror
And you're forever damned because you know the hand that feeds you
Is sucking you dry
And there's a voice in your head just like the man in your bed and they're shouting
Screaming
All these things you do not know about places you don't want to go and you're drowning
When all you want to do, all you want to do is swim.

Almost September
Hey it's almost September, almost the end of summer
And Annie packs away her summer clothes
T-shirts & open sandals, the sundress he bought her on the beach
They still smell faintly of the ocean
And "Annie," he says, "I don't know why
you can't let the summer say its own goodbyes
The days are still long you know, and I love you, so just let it go."

Hey it's almost September, time for school to begin
And Annie's neighbor puts her little one on a yellow bus.
The little boy turns and waves. To him it's just another day
The mother wipes away a tear.
And "Annie," he says, "I don't know why
The passing of time makes people cry."
And she says, "Well, neither do I, but doesn't it get you deep inside."

On the edge of September
The edge of September
They'll sit and wait for that colder wind to blow.

So it's almost September and it gets cold at night
And Annie wraps herself in blankets.
He says, "You look like a big cocoon"
She says, "Don't you think it ended to soon"
He says, "That's just the way it goes."
And "Annie," he says, "I don't know why but I think the fall will be alright."
She says, "You know I hope that's true. I knew there was a reason that I loved you."

So it's almost September. Maybe she'll clean out the fireplace.
Maybe she'll finally frame those photographs.
He says, "You looked so happy then. It's a good thing smiles can be frozen."
She says, "There's nothing like the ocean."
And Annie, well, she doesn't know why the falling leaves make her fall so hard
She dreams of a summer house made of driftwood with a beach in the front yard.

So it's almost September and it gets cold at night.

Scatter Me
It's all a foregone conclusion
It's all the same old circles moving round and round
And I never believed in destiny before
Not really sure if it's piece of mind I've found but there's
Pieces of me in the chalk on the blackboard and there's
Pieces of me in the tree in their backyard
And there's pieces of me on I-25 moving southbound
Moving Southbound

And I scatter me
Yeah I scatter me
And I'm looking at the sky and I'm looking at the road
And I think I'm going to leave but I'm
Probably not gonna

I thought my traveling companion was a Buddhist
He saw himself in every thing in every tree
And I thought I was some existential poet
So I skipped town when he saw himself in me but I left
Pieces of me in his knapsack I left
Pieces of me in his journal back in Little Rock, I left
Pieces of me on Interstate 40 moving west
Moving West

And I scatter me

It all broke down somewhere in Amarillo
I met a lady with a baby on her knee
And by her side was an ivory-handled pistol
I said oh no don't be afraid of me. You see there's
Pieces of me in your bullets
And there's pieces of me in your finger on the trigger. And there's
Pieces of me on the safety latch of something going somewhere
Going somewhere

And I scatter me, yeah I scatter me
And I'm looking at the sky and I'm looking at the road
And I think I'm going to leave yeah I think I'm gonna go
And the moon is getting high and the sun is getting low
And I think I better leave but I'm
Probably not gonna

Spring (The Cheetos Song) Take another sip of diet soda and leave your can upon the kitchen table
Let the afternoon sink down into the moon, take a long walk if you're able
And the trees are so startling in the overgrown mess of this brand new spring
And there's something so humbling about the cold light of winter and the frost on the new buds and the promise of summer? You in your blue bathrobe, we're eating cheetos and we're playing scrabble on the living room floor
I have the q and the z but vowels are history and I cede defeat in this word-driven war
And your kiss is so startling in the overdone light of this messed up spring
And there's something so humbling about love and familiar space, missing the interstate and still looking for a place?
So I hold my breath and I count to ten and I cling to the edge with my toes and I wonder if I'm going to go and
I wonder why and I wonder when, but I'm holding my nose, yeah I'm diving I'm going again and again and again

I'm watching dragonflies from a porch that is not mine. I name one Rex and he lands on my knee
You say, "Oh do not move." And I try to play it cool but the more I think of stillness the more I lose control and

I hold my breath and I count to ten
And I start to shake and I start to cry and I watch Rex fly into the wind and the rain and the sky
and the spring and the spring

Take another sip of holy water and read me Rilke while the sun grows older
Push the clocks ahead and lead me to the bed and lay your head down on my shoulder
And the room is so startling in the broken light with the cracks in the ceiling
And there's something so humbling about being here with you right now, not knowing why or how and still looking for the Tao.

Snapshots (Grandma's Song) Tall buildings, well worn snow
The 59th Street bridge, the tram to Roosevelt Island
Fancy dresses, old hats, these are the snapshots
They are the maps And you have never been afraid
Of what other people say
Or what other people do
'cause it all comes down to you
You have never been afraid of flying somewhere on a plane
Riding solo on a train
Or taking buses in the rain You are sailing across the sea
A New York City girl
Out to grab the world
You are free
And the sailors call you pretty
And they take you by the hand
And you dance on the sand
Then it's Brooklyn, 1937
And he sees you on a bus
And pressing all his luck
He sits down
He was meant for someone else
But you married anyway, you watched him sail away
But you never lost yourself

And you have never been afraid
Of what other people say
Or what other people do
'cause it all comes down to you
You have never been afraid of flying somewhere on a plane
Riding solo on a train
Or taking buses in the rain

Big sky, all that road
And I have the urge to stay
But I feel the need to go
I've got my books and my guitar
These are my snapshots
But as I climb into my car
I am suddenly afraid of what other people say
But I learned from you I'm free and it all comes down to me
And I wonder how I came to have my fearlessness of planes and of buses and of trains
And getting caught in the rain

Tall buildings, well worn snow
The 59th Street bridge, the tram to Roosevelt Island.
Time Magazine At 2 am I left New Jersey. No idea what to expect.
But I thought anything is better than the grey skies of Newark
And the smell of the beer cans and the cigarettes.
My Datsun bit it by the time I got to Washington
And I admitted my defeat.
I sat and cried on the steps of the Capitol and someone took a picture of me.
Will I end up in Time Magazine American portrait gone awry
And if I end up in Time Magazine how will I explain why. A young man wearing beat up jeans, empty guitar case at his feet
He says, "Hey Man, spare a dollar for a pretty tune. See my throat is dry from all this heat."
He sings, "Suburbia, it wasn't a bad way to go. In fact I think it bought me some time.
But a bad deal and a bad relationship and a bad hit of acid left me half blind.
I let some years consume me. I took the whole world through me. But I came out the other side.
I searched for G-d in meetings. Got me a psychic reading. She told me this is my time.
She said I'd end up in Time Magazine. That I'd become a great big star
And you know when you're in Time Magazine, everyone knows who you are." A young woman wearing army fatigues, crying baby at her hip.
She says, "Excuse me ma'am spare a dollar for a hungry child, see her Daddy is gone now and I'm sick.
You see I wear these clothes because they still smell like him and I wear his dog tags close to my heart.
Yeah but how will I explain to this sweet little baby girl that friendly fire blew her family apart.
The government checks are something, but the bills keep coming and my whole world's come undone
He had a hero's funeral. I got the flag the medal. But I sure did scream when they shot the guns.
But you know we were in Time Magazine. American soldier and his bride. And I was pregnant in Time Magazine. Just 3 weeks before he died.
An old man with a toothless smile, smelling like yesterday's news.
He says, "Pretty girl, spare a dollar for a working man you could sure use a shine on those shoes."
I said, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm all out of change," and I stood up and I tried to take my leave.
But a cool wind was blowing and the traffic it was slowing down and I pulled my last 20 from my sleeve.
He said, "Oh bless you honey."
I said, "It's only money." And I don't know why but I kissed him on the cheek.
He said, "It's been so long since anything I loved has come or gone, keep your money child. I hope you find what you seek."

So there's a copy of Time Magazine for your reading pleasure at the corner of the bar
And I'll rest your beer on the top of Time Magazine.
So tip me well I'm still trying to fix my car.
Yeah tip me well I'm still trying to fix my car
Yeah tip me well I'm still trying to fix my car.

Walking Backward
If you wake up and you don't see me
I'm probably flying
Like a drunkard, walking backward
I'm not afraid of falling.
'cause you know me
You
You let me go.

If you wake up and you don't feel me
I'm probably out walking
By the ocean, disappearing
Into the horizon.
'Cause you know me
You
You let me go

If you wake up and you don't hear me
I'm probably done singing
But like a church bell on the tail end of ringing
You'll still hear the echo
'Cause you know me
You
You let me go.

Like a drunkard, walking backward
I'm not afraid of falling.

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